This entry has been on my mind for a while. Even after I write it here, there may be continuations of it later for the simple fact that I am having a hard time organizing my thoughts. That is nothing new. I have been thinking a lot about why. Literally, I have been pondering the concept of why.
Actually I don't really like the word "ponder" in this instance. It sounds snooty. I've been thinking about it. That is better.
As a young person, I wanted to tour the world as a singer and gain great fame. That's all I wanted. I thought it would come true too. It wasn't until my early to mid twenties that I really let that go. I don't know specifically when it happened. But I know that dream is no longer with me. Recently a co-worker has been talking to me about doing some music together. He writes and he thinks I have a good voice so it's something he'd like to do. He has even mentioned doing work in a studio and maybe putting out a demo record. To say that it is something I would love to do is an understatement. While I've been thinking of this chance to bring a little bit of my dream of singing to life, that youthful dream of fame and attention has been at the foggier edge of my thoughts. At this time in my life however, I am asking myself why. Why would I want to be famous. What is the meaning and what does one gain from attention. Why would I want to sing just for attention. I don't. I sing because it makes me feel whole and something lovely. But I sing mostly because I feel closer to God in that place. And is anything worth doing if it doesn't bring you close to the heart of God or act as a conduit for others to do so.
At a dinner with my husband and a friend recently the conversation revolved around why we go through all the daily routines in life. A friend of mine said that he's ready to go at any day. He isn't seeking death but Basically he's over it. The whole getting up, taking a shower, eat some breakfast, watch some tv, go to work, come home, go to dinner/cook dinner, kick it on the computer, watch more tv and/or play with friends, go to bed situation. I feel the same way. I love my life, but in the end I am asking myself why I do any of what I do. Why. Why anything in life. To enjoy it. And to bring you closer to the heart and face of God. Where else would one really want to be if they knew that that was an option for them? And what else isn't total vapor.
Monday, November 10, 2008
It's the Julie Andrews in me
The caption read "Obama Swoon Over. Back to Work." The actual title of the article was "Barack to Reality"
I knew this time would come. It hasn't been a week since most of America looked past party and racial lines to see what hope for America could look like again, and already the momentousness of the occasion is being downplayed. I can hear it's equivalent in my mind, "alright everyone, settle down. Yes this is nice, but we have to move on." As I am typing this tears are filling my eyes. I will not settle down. I will not....settle....down. Nor will I move on. What happened November 4th has repercussions that go beyond that day, or this past following weekend. Black children who want to be president now have a point of reference for really believing this is possible. People of color can now tell their children with conviction, that they can be WHATEVER they want. Can anyone fathom how priceless that really is. Our president wants peace and live's of quality for his fellow American's. Electing Barack Hussein Obama may not have fixed all of our problems, but having the hope that the warm dawn is upon us, even if we can't see it yet in a cold darkness, can make all the difference between the life and death of a person's being. There is hope for us America!!!
My favorite part of this election is that we have a leader that is an example to his fellow American's as a man of integrity and peace. American's have elected a leader that seems to really love all of American's. Not just those that align themselves with his political philosophies. He spoke up for the poor and downtrodden before he was a figure in the public eye which tells us his convictions about the struggling were not born out of a desire for attention. So pardon me as I swoon. And beam. And dance through the streets. And cry my tears of joy. And sing songs dripping with happiness. It's just the elated American in me.
I knew this time would come. It hasn't been a week since most of America looked past party and racial lines to see what hope for America could look like again, and already the momentousness of the occasion is being downplayed. I can hear it's equivalent in my mind, "alright everyone, settle down. Yes this is nice, but we have to move on." As I am typing this tears are filling my eyes. I will not settle down. I will not....settle....down. Nor will I move on. What happened November 4th has repercussions that go beyond that day, or this past following weekend. Black children who want to be president now have a point of reference for really believing this is possible. People of color can now tell their children with conviction, that they can be WHATEVER they want. Can anyone fathom how priceless that really is. Our president wants peace and live's of quality for his fellow American's. Electing Barack Hussein Obama may not have fixed all of our problems, but having the hope that the warm dawn is upon us, even if we can't see it yet in a cold darkness, can make all the difference between the life and death of a person's being. There is hope for us America!!!
My favorite part of this election is that we have a leader that is an example to his fellow American's as a man of integrity and peace. American's have elected a leader that seems to really love all of American's. Not just those that align themselves with his political philosophies. He spoke up for the poor and downtrodden before he was a figure in the public eye which tells us his convictions about the struggling were not born out of a desire for attention. So pardon me as I swoon. And beam. And dance through the streets. And cry my tears of joy. And sing songs dripping with happiness. It's just the elated American in me.
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