Monday, December 8, 2008
The Good Stuff
I'm getting some couches! Lalalalalala. Did I tell you I'm the kind of girl who sings in her emails, or blooooogs...and counts every lalala...? Well I am. But that is a side point. The point is...I have become one of those women. The wife that gets most excited about accents and furniture for her home. Especially the furniture. I am surprised at how quickly I have settled into my role of wife. This is a place I never thought I would really be. And yet, here I am. I am still surprised that I have been blessed with such a love and circumstances, but at the same time, comfortable in my surroundings. Though everything about my life right now is relatively new and foreign. New husband, new home, new town, new job, new people. I am me still...but like in another dimension. I think this is one of the best parts about being married. It's like being me, but enhanced. Ya find out so many things about yourself when you get married. Like that I actually care about furniture...never happened before. But it's happenin now. And I welcome it.
Monday, November 10, 2008
The World is not enough
This entry has been on my mind for a while. Even after I write it here, there may be continuations of it later for the simple fact that I am having a hard time organizing my thoughts. That is nothing new. I have been thinking a lot about why. Literally, I have been pondering the concept of why.
Actually I don't really like the word "ponder" in this instance. It sounds snooty. I've been thinking about it. That is better.
As a young person, I wanted to tour the world as a singer and gain great fame. That's all I wanted. I thought it would come true too. It wasn't until my early to mid twenties that I really let that go. I don't know specifically when it happened. But I know that dream is no longer with me. Recently a co-worker has been talking to me about doing some music together. He writes and he thinks I have a good voice so it's something he'd like to do. He has even mentioned doing work in a studio and maybe putting out a demo record. To say that it is something I would love to do is an understatement. While I've been thinking of this chance to bring a little bit of my dream of singing to life, that youthful dream of fame and attention has been at the foggier edge of my thoughts. At this time in my life however, I am asking myself why. Why would I want to be famous. What is the meaning and what does one gain from attention. Why would I want to sing just for attention. I don't. I sing because it makes me feel whole and something lovely. But I sing mostly because I feel closer to God in that place. And is anything worth doing if it doesn't bring you close to the heart of God or act as a conduit for others to do so.
At a dinner with my husband and a friend recently the conversation revolved around why we go through all the daily routines in life. A friend of mine said that he's ready to go at any day. He isn't seeking death but Basically he's over it. The whole getting up, taking a shower, eat some breakfast, watch some tv, go to work, come home, go to dinner/cook dinner, kick it on the computer, watch more tv and/or play with friends, go to bed situation. I feel the same way. I love my life, but in the end I am asking myself why I do any of what I do. Why. Why anything in life. To enjoy it. And to bring you closer to the heart and face of God. Where else would one really want to be if they knew that that was an option for them? And what else isn't total vapor.
Actually I don't really like the word "ponder" in this instance. It sounds snooty. I've been thinking about it. That is better.
As a young person, I wanted to tour the world as a singer and gain great fame. That's all I wanted. I thought it would come true too. It wasn't until my early to mid twenties that I really let that go. I don't know specifically when it happened. But I know that dream is no longer with me. Recently a co-worker has been talking to me about doing some music together. He writes and he thinks I have a good voice so it's something he'd like to do. He has even mentioned doing work in a studio and maybe putting out a demo record. To say that it is something I would love to do is an understatement. While I've been thinking of this chance to bring a little bit of my dream of singing to life, that youthful dream of fame and attention has been at the foggier edge of my thoughts. At this time in my life however, I am asking myself why. Why would I want to be famous. What is the meaning and what does one gain from attention. Why would I want to sing just for attention. I don't. I sing because it makes me feel whole and something lovely. But I sing mostly because I feel closer to God in that place. And is anything worth doing if it doesn't bring you close to the heart of God or act as a conduit for others to do so.
At a dinner with my husband and a friend recently the conversation revolved around why we go through all the daily routines in life. A friend of mine said that he's ready to go at any day. He isn't seeking death but Basically he's over it. The whole getting up, taking a shower, eat some breakfast, watch some tv, go to work, come home, go to dinner/cook dinner, kick it on the computer, watch more tv and/or play with friends, go to bed situation. I feel the same way. I love my life, but in the end I am asking myself why I do any of what I do. Why. Why anything in life. To enjoy it. And to bring you closer to the heart and face of God. Where else would one really want to be if they knew that that was an option for them? And what else isn't total vapor.
It's the Julie Andrews in me
The caption read "Obama Swoon Over. Back to Work." The actual title of the article was "Barack to Reality"
I knew this time would come. It hasn't been a week since most of America looked past party and racial lines to see what hope for America could look like again, and already the momentousness of the occasion is being downplayed. I can hear it's equivalent in my mind, "alright everyone, settle down. Yes this is nice, but we have to move on." As I am typing this tears are filling my eyes. I will not settle down. I will not....settle....down. Nor will I move on. What happened November 4th has repercussions that go beyond that day, or this past following weekend. Black children who want to be president now have a point of reference for really believing this is possible. People of color can now tell their children with conviction, that they can be WHATEVER they want. Can anyone fathom how priceless that really is. Our president wants peace and live's of quality for his fellow American's. Electing Barack Hussein Obama may not have fixed all of our problems, but having the hope that the warm dawn is upon us, even if we can't see it yet in a cold darkness, can make all the difference between the life and death of a person's being. There is hope for us America!!!
My favorite part of this election is that we have a leader that is an example to his fellow American's as a man of integrity and peace. American's have elected a leader that seems to really love all of American's. Not just those that align themselves with his political philosophies. He spoke up for the poor and downtrodden before he was a figure in the public eye which tells us his convictions about the struggling were not born out of a desire for attention. So pardon me as I swoon. And beam. And dance through the streets. And cry my tears of joy. And sing songs dripping with happiness. It's just the elated American in me.
I knew this time would come. It hasn't been a week since most of America looked past party and racial lines to see what hope for America could look like again, and already the momentousness of the occasion is being downplayed. I can hear it's equivalent in my mind, "alright everyone, settle down. Yes this is nice, but we have to move on." As I am typing this tears are filling my eyes. I will not settle down. I will not....settle....down. Nor will I move on. What happened November 4th has repercussions that go beyond that day, or this past following weekend. Black children who want to be president now have a point of reference for really believing this is possible. People of color can now tell their children with conviction, that they can be WHATEVER they want. Can anyone fathom how priceless that really is. Our president wants peace and live's of quality for his fellow American's. Electing Barack Hussein Obama may not have fixed all of our problems, but having the hope that the warm dawn is upon us, even if we can't see it yet in a cold darkness, can make all the difference between the life and death of a person's being. There is hope for us America!!!
My favorite part of this election is that we have a leader that is an example to his fellow American's as a man of integrity and peace. American's have elected a leader that seems to really love all of American's. Not just those that align themselves with his political philosophies. He spoke up for the poor and downtrodden before he was a figure in the public eye which tells us his convictions about the struggling were not born out of a desire for attention. So pardon me as I swoon. And beam. And dance through the streets. And cry my tears of joy. And sing songs dripping with happiness. It's just the elated American in me.
Wednesday, October 15, 2008
Teenagers...
"They're stupid and I hope this school burns to the ground!" "Me too. I wouldn't mind seeing this school burn. I'd sit by and watch it. I'd watch it burn to the ground" "How do they know a teacher didn't take it?" "They should just give them to us 'cause we're students"
It is moments like these that make me wonder why I want to work with teenagers. I work at an Arts and Technology charter school. It is a beautiful thing. The sense of community within the staff, the love for the kids - even the assholes - and the desire to make them successful is sometimes overwhelming. I often stare out the window of my classroom and smile because this is just such a wonderful place and these kids are so blessed.
Yesterday we had a Mac laptop stolen from us. One of the students took it. We don't know which one, but there is no way it wasn't a student. What rips me apart are the snarky, disrespectful and rude comments that the students throw out after our principal poured her heart out to them about the incident. She wasn't angry. She was saddened. And their response is one of arrogance and utter disregard for the weight of the situation.
There are a few things that comfort me in times like these. First is that though the ones making the nasty comments are the loudest...they are not the majority. (Sidenote: I just thought of a correlation between this and Christians portrayed in the media. More on this later) They seem like it because they are so...damn...loud.... . So loud. But if I really look beyond them, there are ten to one, students that are remorseful and affected by what has happened. The next thing that comforts me is the fact that teens like this are nothing new. The quote comes to me, "I am not young enough to know everything." It makes me laugh because that is sooo true. I almost die at the knowledge teenagers perceive themselves to have. Teenagers have been the same for thousands of years. They will not change. There will be variations of them, but basically....ain't nothin new under the sun. That's why we have to hope and hold onto that hope. They will change with their years.
Here's hoping I don't lose my job by punching one or more of them in the face before then.
It is moments like these that make me wonder why I want to work with teenagers. I work at an Arts and Technology charter school. It is a beautiful thing. The sense of community within the staff, the love for the kids - even the assholes - and the desire to make them successful is sometimes overwhelming. I often stare out the window of my classroom and smile because this is just such a wonderful place and these kids are so blessed.
Yesterday we had a Mac laptop stolen from us. One of the students took it. We don't know which one, but there is no way it wasn't a student. What rips me apart are the snarky, disrespectful and rude comments that the students throw out after our principal poured her heart out to them about the incident. She wasn't angry. She was saddened. And their response is one of arrogance and utter disregard for the weight of the situation.
There are a few things that comfort me in times like these. First is that though the ones making the nasty comments are the loudest...they are not the majority. (Sidenote: I just thought of a correlation between this and Christians portrayed in the media. More on this later) They seem like it because they are so...damn...loud.... . So loud. But if I really look beyond them, there are ten to one, students that are remorseful and affected by what has happened. The next thing that comforts me is the fact that teens like this are nothing new. The quote comes to me, "I am not young enough to know everything." It makes me laugh because that is sooo true. I almost die at the knowledge teenagers perceive themselves to have. Teenagers have been the same for thousands of years. They will not change. There will be variations of them, but basically....ain't nothin new under the sun. That's why we have to hope and hold onto that hope. They will change with their years.
Here's hoping I don't lose my job by punching one or more of them in the face before then.
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